Artificial black holes: on the threshold of new physics

Can that be a good thing? Help me live, we don't need to be creating black holes so close to home, don't these scientists realize that although they may think they know what they are doing, this could be disastrous?! Apparently splitting the atom and fusing hydrogen is not enough to keep these types happy. No, they want to go and create mini universe-eating objects. I think they need a new hobby or else we are all in trouble!

This is the part of the article I personally love:

"In reality, there is no risk posed by creating artificial black holes, at least not in the manner planned with the LHC."

"[A]t least not in [this] manner?!?!?!" Oh so you acknowledge that, although these guys at the LHC are not doing it, there is some other manner in which to create these things, and maybe that is not so safe! Great, go ahead and plant the idea in our heads (and the heads of those that might want to use it to their advantage!). Yeah, we thought nukes were bad? No, the next WMDs are going to be little black holes. Seriously, I wonder just what conditions happen to cause the manner in which these are made to become critical? One well-placed black hole would ruin our day for sure. It would just feed itself until it had eaten all of earth and then start feeding on our solar system in some sort of cosmic all-you-can-eat buffet.

"The black holes produced at CERN will be millions of times smaller than the nucleus of an atom; too small to swallow much of anything. And they'll only live for a tiny fraction of a second, too short a time to swallow anything around them even if they wanted to."

Oh really?!?! You sure about that? Scientists have had many theories in the past that have been proven incorrect, and I don't think this is one we want to be proven as such by virtue of our planet getting sucked into one. Seriously, can't we do this somewhere else, say maybe one quintillion light-years away from here?

"If it makes you feel any more comfortable, we're pretty sure that if the LHC can produce black holes, then so can cosmic rays, high-energy particles that smash into our atmosphere every day. There are probably a few tiny black holes forming and dying far above you right now. So I think we should all relax, fire up the Large Hadron Collider, and get ready for a view of the universe that we've never seen before."

Oh sure, I feel so much better. Whatever! Stop this madness now! I think Senator Kerry should address this situation and make it an important issue for the election, it may help him win . . .

See you in the singularity!